After uploading the first draft of (currently) “Untitled”, the feedback I received over the internet from Mat and Pa trick was generally positive with no major changes. However, the main point still needs to be addressed – how are we going to show that Sophia has poisoned Jack? We have footage of Jack realising that he has been poisoned as he finds a berry on the table. Is this clear enough? Too clear? And how do we use the fairly limited footage we have to avoid being too ambiguous? We may need to schedule a couple of pick up shots.
The reason I haven’t incorporated the shots of Jack’s realisation scene into the edit at this point is because I wanted the opinion of the others first and I think the ideas I get from them will be better if they watch it without it first, it should get a more instinctive response as they wont be having to think abstractly and out of context.
“I really like the pacing when Megan grabs the broom and knocks the plant over gives it a more tense feel but I think the Father enters a bit quickly and doesn’t allow time for the girls to react to what Megan did.” – Patrick Royall
I agree 100% with this point, the scene was quite a struggle to edit as it was the first one I did and I was still getting to grips with all the ins and out of AMC. By the time I finished the first cut, and put all the sequences together, the earlier mistakes and shaky edits became more apparent. Realistically, Jack would not have had time to respond to the sound of the bonsai tree and rush to the room as quickly as he manages in my edit. Instead of having Jack shout “Megan!” instantly, I will use Patrick’s aerial shot of the smashed tree and try to find some more reactions to create a tense moment before Jack rushes to the scene.